Superfluous Mission Statements

It’s our responsibility to dramatically provide access to resource-leveling meta-services in order to professionally promote emerging products while maintaining the highest standards

 or

Our mission is to authoritatively fashion professional intellectual capital so that we may endeavor to seamlessly engineer excellent information to stay competitive in tomorrow’s world

or

It’s our responsibility to authoritatively negotiate innovative services in order to solve business problemsor

Our mission is to interactively create virtual data to meet our customer’s needs

Oh, it’s soo good: http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/games/career/bin/ms.cgi